Monday, April 6, 2015

He said what!?!

So this story is a few years old when my daughter was a mere 8 maybe 9 months old. Have you ever heard of a thing called mastitis? If you haven't, pray that you never know what it is like to have it. It is pure hell. My boob felt like it was on fire and that my nipple might rip off at any second. I had a high grade fever, a migraine, and I was throwing up. Put all that together with the fact that my daughter was exclusively breastfed. She wouldn't drink out of a bottle even if I pumped. We also had no family anywhere near us and my husband was on nights so he was absolutely no help. My daughter and I lived in the guest bathroom for 3 days straight.

Since we were still new to the area I didn't have a family practitioner so I decided to use the doctors office that a couple of our friends recommended. Luckily one of my friends was off work and was able to watch Selah while I went to my appointment. I get to the office and I look and feel like crap. I'm wearing some capri yoga pants and a Bass Pro t-shirt with no makeup and my hair in a bun. Heck, I'm lucky that I was able to get myself off the bathroom floor and drive to the Dr. I found out Friday I had mastitis, but there was no openings until Monday morning.

They finally call me back after filling out an abundance of paper work and waiting an hour. I think I even said the phrase "oh thank you Jesus" when they called my name. Thank goodness I didn't have to use the Target bag I had brought with me just in case I got sick. So I go to the room and wait and wait. Finally this young Doctor comes in. At least, I think he was a Dr. heck, he could have been a nurse practitioner. I tell him what is wrong with me and he looks terrified. Like he is so afraid that he might have to look or heck even touch my breast... Really dude, get it together it's just a boob. After I tell him what I am pretty sure I have he just agrees with me. I have never seen an Indian blush, but he sure was red. I swear he was acting like a 12 year old boy who was watching a sex scene in a movie for the first time while sitting beside his mom.. So he goes to pat my leg in reassurance that things will be ok, and he said "Oooh prickly, hahahaha!"

That did it. I work really at having a filter. If anyone knows the old me, they know that I use to say what I thought and didn't mind if it was offensive or hurtful. Well, the old me came through. I looked at him with this look that I must have summoned from the Devil and said "Excuse me! I'm sorry that in the midst of my vomiting, migraine, nursing and caring for a baby, that I forgot to shave my legs in the odd chance that some Doctor whom I've never met would feel the need to touch my legs. However, if you feel so strongly about it you are more than welcome to nurse and take care of my daughter so I can shave my legs." Was I wrong for going off on him?? Mmmm... probably.. I just can't get this situation out of my head. I was lucky enough to make it to the office without barfing while driving to even think about shaving my "prickly legs". Heck, I had them mostly covered, I was wearing capris. Good enough. . Or so I thought..

With all this being said, if you have been sick and are going to the doctor.. Wear pants!

Monday, February 2, 2015

Kids say the darndest things

Just a little background on myself before getting started. I'm a WAHM (work at home mom) I watch kids daily so I can be a stay at home mom. Lucky enough for me I had a free day today and decided to take my very opinionated and talkative three year old shopping. We hit a few sales, 75% off at Claires and 75% off at Bath and Body Works. It was heaven for this frugal mommy. We even ate free at Chick Fil A. Then came the embarrassing part. Target.

I have a couple of gift cards to Target and decided today I was going to buy something for myself. This might not sound like much, but last time I had a Target gift card I bought my husband a video game.. Yes, I am that kind of person. I can't spend money on myself and when I do I feel horrible. I guess that's why I became a coupon addict. . . So it's that time of the year.. January.. Which in Savannah means swimsuits are out. Ick! Oh to be my 17 year old self once more with my tight tummy and firm booty. Oh, and no stretchmarks! Gah, one can wish. While looking at all the teeny little bikinis I finally found a swimsuit that appeared to be perfect. The bottoms were bottoms and actually covered everything. The top was a secret pushup with ruffles that gives the appearance that  someone might have larger breasts. Perfect! Just what this itty bitty titty mama needs! So my daughter and I make our way to the fitting rooms. Today she is actually cooperating with me. It may or may not be the fact that I bought her princess lip gloss... Right about now her entire bottom half of her face is slimy and glittery, but to be honest, as long as she is sitting down quietly I really don't mind.  I take her out of the stroller, let her pick which lip glosses she wants to take into the fitting room then go in to try on the swimsuit. .. While undressing my daughter decides to say very loudly, "mama! You's naked!" I hear a giggle... It's not coming from my daughter. It's not from me. Not from the nice lady at the fitting room desk. No.. . It's coming from the mens side... So I try to distract my daughter with her lip gloss and then it happens. "BOOBIES!!! Mama your boobies are showing. BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES"

Then I hear it again.. More giggling from a man. In all fairness, he was trying to hide the fact that he found my daughter hilarious, but the damage was done. I was completely mortified. The sad thing is, I didn't even get to try on the bottoms to the swimsuit. Who knows what would have been said! I quickly gathered up what dignity I had left, put my top back on, and hauled butt out of Target. All the while my daughter was sitting in her stroller repeating the word boobies with this little devious grin on her face.

The life lesson here. Maybe my ass shouldn't be wearing a bikini...

- Side note, this was written in January but I'm just now getting around to posting it. 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

And then life happens. .

And Then Life Happens


No ones life is perfect. Let's face it, Disney sold us a bunch of BS with all their happily ever after. You fall in love, you get married, you have a kid or two, and then life happens. You go to sleep late because with your husbands constantly changing schedule, that is the only way you can see him. You wake up early just so you can have those brief 15 minutes of solitude to enjoy your coffee in peace without your mini me begging for food or to watch Princess. You get into this routine where you're a walking zombie who keeps wishing away her days yearning for that fun day that's coming up in the future. All the while you're missing what is happening around you. Life. Your little mini me's vocabulary is growing daily. She no longer colors random things on her coloring books, she colors her pictures and she even stays in the lines while doing so. 
Those moments when you just want to pee in peace. Just 2 minutes. Please. Just two minutes. But you have small little hands under the door begging to come in and be with mommy. You try to sneak a shower while she is finally sitting still watching a movie. Only to have her run upstairs, undressing while doing so, to surprise you because she wants to shower too.
Having your mini me covered in eye shadow because she wants to be like mommy. She doesn't care that it was your favorite Naked pallet and that even though you just spent the last hour deep cleaning the bathroom, you have to start back over because not only is the sink and counter covered in very expensive eye shadow, but so is the floor and mirror. 
Reading to her during bedtime and having her cuddle with you while she attempts to read the book with you. Then, when it's time for lights out, having her look at you with such unconditional love asking if you will prease sleep in her woom, mommy. 
Sometimes you just have to get away to remind yourself how wonderful you have it. She won't always want to be with you 24/7. There will come a day when she is too old to shower with you. When she will be too embarrassed to snuggle with you. When she will no longer want to sit beside you on the counter while you get ready. She won't always look at you at bedtime and say "sleep in my woom mommy, prease."
There's too many times where even though you are here all day everyday, you feel like you've missed out. You have been too caught up on how bored with life you were, that you forgot to look at the now. Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you fought hard to have the life you have. You wished and prayed daily for it. You even suffered loss in hopes to get it.
Sometimes you have to put your phone down. Facebook and Instagram can wait. You have to stop thinking about the future and yearning for things to come and focus on the now. Because soon enough, you're going to be yearning for the past and those little moments you missed out on because you were too busy worrying about trivial things. 
Life is short. The past can't be rewritten, but the future is your pallet to create whatever your heart desires. Let her make a mess painting even if that means you will be cleaning the paint out of the tub for over a month. If she wants to have a dance party, put those dishes down and just dance. 
They're only little once

In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed.